Clocks

A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock move."
"Oh", said the man. "Whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's", replied St. Peter. "The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

"Incredible", said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The
hands have moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's Obama's clock?" asked the man.
"Obama's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."


"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine."

-Thomas Jefferson